Decades ago, when I was an overachiever—I’m a recovering one now—I viewed the New Year as a time to course-correct.

I’d spend days reflecting and journaling about the previous year. Then, I’d create ambitious goals for the new one—not just in one area of my life, but across all domains: relationships, work, parenting, and physical health.

My mindfulness practice, though, taught me that in many ways this approach was a form of self-aggression.

It came from a desire to fix what I felt was wrong with me and handed me a harsh ruler to measure myself against for the rest of the year.

A Kinder, More Effective Approach

Over time, I’ve learned gentler, yet equally effective ways to move toward my deepest wishes for myself and my life.

Key to it all is an attitudinal shift toward a more exploratory approach. As Jonathan Fields shares in the Good Life Project podcast, thinking of goals as directions rather than dictates and as experiments rather than edicts immediately helps me relax into the process of change and growth.

Instead of rigidly adhering to an inflexible goal, I’ve learned to adapt and review my priorities based on what’s happening in my life and on my evolving needs.

I’ve long had goals for exercise, including strength training, cardio workouts, and stretching. But when I was going through cancer treatment, those goals were impossible to keep. And yet, keeping small commitments to myself – going for an easy walk, doing a single, bodyweight squat- was still helpful and meaningful, which leads me to another insight.

The Power of Intentions

And that is that the word goal can create a binary trap.

We either reach a goal, or we don’t – setting ourselves up for a persistent feeling of success or failure. Instead of having brittle goals, I’ve discovered the power of intentions.

Intentions act as an internal compass. Rather than fixating on outcomes, they continually guide me toward what matters most.

Author James Clear shares a now well-known aviation analogy in Atomic Habits to illustrate this idea: tiny shifts in an airplane’s autopilot can send it to an entirely different destination. Small directional changes, sustained over time, can radically alter where we land.

Intentions hold the same power—especially when they’re rooted in our values and paired with concrete, actionable behaviors.

Using Implementation Intentions

Research shows, for example, that intentions—specifically, implementation intentions—often determine whether a “goal” is achieved.

An implementation intention is simply an “if–then” plan:

If this situation arises, then I’ll take this specific action that aligns with my intention.

Psychologist Peter Gollwitzer’s research found that people who form simple if–then plans are dramatically more likely to follow through—not because they try harder, but because they remove decision fatigue in the moment.

One of my overarching aims is to be a loving, supportive parent and spouse. Rather than holding that as a vague aspiration, or a goal that I can never measure up to, I’ve created a simple implementation intention:

If I see my daughter or husband in the morning, then I’ll give them a deep, connected, mindful hug—and tell them I love them.

That’s it.

I’m continually amazed by how much that small “if–then” action shapes the tone of my interactions with my family for the rest of the day. It reliably brings me back to what matters most and shapes my behavior in a beneficial way.

What Intention Feels Most Alive for You?

As you look toward the year ahead, what do you most wish for yourself? More patience? Less stress? Or something practical and evergreen for your health, like eating more vegetables?

Get curious about a quality or habit you might want to adopt or change. Then get creative about how it might translate into a simple, intentional if–then plan.

If patience is your intention, maybe every time you wait in line, you take three slow, steady breaths. If healthier eating is your aim, maybe you’ll add one extra vegetable to your plate at dinner.

If you want to stop interrupting your spouse (and this has nothing to do with me, by the way), maybe every time he talks, you’ll wait until he’s finished speaking – and pause for a few moments – before responding.

The possibilities are often kinder than we expect – and endless.

After all, it’s still January.

On My Mind

 What if you had within your possession something that gave you instant feedback on your stress levels? It could tell you in real-time what emotions you felt or if you’d gotten a crummy night’s sleep. It could even tell you if you were making good or bad decisions for yourself.

You actually do have such a thing, and it’s not an iWatch, a Fitbit, or an Oura ring.

It’s your body.

Ever since philosopher Rene Descartes penned the words – “I think therefore I am” – we’ve emphasized the wisdom of the mind over the wisdom of the body.

But the body is deep. It’s primal and intelligent. And it continually speaks to us through the language of sensation, telling us not only about our basic needs – whether we’re hungry, tired, or cold – but also about the more subtle aspects of how we’re functioning in every moment.

Your body has probably been speaking to you a lot lately – maybe even shouting at you with tension headaches, sour stomachs, and aching backs – telling you: “Enough already!”

Unprecedented Stress on Our Bodies 

According to a recent survey from the American Psychological Association, the pandemic, the rise in inflation, and the war in Ukraine have created unprecedented stress levels.

The survey also revealed widespread grief over the loss of life, global uncertainty, and economic hardship. You can add hopelessness to the list as well, which might explain why many of us are using unhelpful coping methods instead of tuning in to what our bodies truly need. (According to the AMA’s survey, we’re all drinking and eating more and moving less.)

 Tuning in to the body’s wisdom and listening to what it has to tell us isn’t always comfortable. Pain in the neck is, well…a pain in the neck. But receiving the body’s messages – physical sensations and those we deem emotional – is a powerful way to manage our stress. (Research shows that almost 60% to 80% of primary care office visits are stress-related.)

Pressure in our upper back might signify we’re overburdened. A sinking feeling in the gut might tell us we’re about to make a wrong decision. And feeling exhausted is a neon-lit billboard blaring; we need rest.

Some physical aches and pains indicate we’re unwell or injured. Other sensations require interpretation. Either way, mindfulness helps us become more attuned to our bodies, boosting our BQ (body intelligence quotient.)

When we attend to our body, we become more familiar with the physical and emotional patterns that tell us how we’re relating to the circumstances of our lives. For some, the telltale sign they’re enduring too much stress is a nagging backache. For others, it might be digestive issues.

Receiving such signals helps us collaborate with our bodies to take better care of ourselves before we’re in distress or unwell.

Over time, the more we practice paying attention to sensations, the more tolerant we become of them. And the more we learn not to blame our bodies for the messages they send us but instead to heed them and have compassion for ourselves in the process.

Try A Body Scan Practice 

Try the following body scan practice to become more attuned to the body’s wisdom, manage your stress with greater ease, and tap into your intuition.

• Find a comfortable place to sit. Adopt an upright but not uptight posture. Take a few relaxing breaths to help you settle.

• Bringing your attention to the top of your head, notice any sensations that might be present. If you can’t feel any sensations, enjoy the peaceful absence of sensations.

• Allow your attention to cascade like a waterfall down through the body, landing on whatever body part calls to you next; your face, shoulders, chest, arms, hands, back, legs, and feet. If you like, slightly repeat the name of the body part you’re noticing to support your concentration and clarity.

• When your attention lands on a body part, stay there for several seconds, noticing sensations, whether tingling, vibration, heat, coolness, pressure, or heaviness. If a sensation becomes too bright or bold, stay with the gentle movement of your breath or sensations in neutral areas of the body, such as the hands or feet. If at any point a sensation becomes overwhelming, feel free to stop practicing, open your eyes and shift to another activity that supports you.

• When you’ve scanned your attention through your body, take a purposeful breath to close your practice. And, as a result of tuning into your body, if you’ve discovered that you’re hungry or tired, irritated or lonely, take good care of yourself.

A Version of This Blog appeared at eMindful.com